Stay Plugged-in: Archive
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Stay tuned for a new article each month!
The cost of prom can be a small fortune. It is important you and your teen agree on a budget, and stick to it. Your teen should be responsible for part of the cost. Talk with h/her about how much you are willing to pitch in. Budgeting for prom can be a great teachable moment for you to instill discipline and financial management.
Encourage your son to bring home his prom date. Have your daughter invite her date over to meet you and your spouse. Dad – this might be the perfect opportunity to show him your collection of firearms – just kidding, mostly! Making such introductions before the actual night of prom will send a clear message to your teen’s date that you want and expect their very best behavior.
Prom night curfew is a hot topic. Before deciding on a curfew, consider your teen's history: Is s/he responsible? Has s/he given you reason to worry before? Talk to your prom-goer about it well in advance and establish a game plan in which you expect them to abide. If you do choose to allow your teen to pull an all-nighter, establish boundaries.
Talk to your teen about their post-prom plans. Clearly explain your expectations. Remember, teens are not always direct. But they need you to be. Know their whereabouts. Talk with parents of your teen’s friends. Find out the low-down on what other teens are telling their parents about post-prom activities.
Alcohol has become a big problem on prom night. Even limo companies are getting in on the act with stricter drinking policies -- charging a large on-the-spot sum for any alcohol-related damages. While taking measures like banning alcohol at post-prom parties is key, it's even more vital to talk to your teen before the big night about no drinking or riding in a car with anyone who is.
Standing guard at your kid's prom will give you the scoop on what's happening. Before you decide to sign up, make a point to talk together. Make sure s/he is comfortable with the idea. Who knows? Your teen just may agree, provided you promise not to do shake-a-leg at the big bop.
If you are concerned about letting your prom-goer hang out 'til dawn with no supervision, you're not alone. As mentioned in Jeffrey’s news and notes, most parents (and many schools) make plans to secure a safe after-prom environment for students. While many schools arrange to have alcohol- and drug-free after-parties on school grounds (complete with transportation), you can also plan an at-home party.
Overnight hotel stays have become increasingly popular. Not a good idea at all. Hotel rooms can increase the chance of alcohol consumption and sexual activity. No matter how many students will be present, and no matter how good their intentions, spending the night unsupervised in a room with a bed is never a good idea. Draw the line here – no hotel room.
For many teens, prom night is all about sex. Even teens that do not necessarily plan on getting physical on this night can often find themselves in a moment of temptation. Tell your teen that you do not want them to have any sexual activity outside of marriage, especially on prom night.
No matter what your teen says, you have a right to know h/her whereabouts. If your child resents you calling to check in, have her call you instead. Set prearranged call-in times (arriving at prom, after the dance, middle of the night.) With mandatory check ins, there's less chance of trouble.
Establishing these guidelines with your teen will not automatically exempt them from the possible dangers associated with prom night, nor will this guarantee that s/he live a God-honoring life on prom night. But remember, how your teen responds or acts to your requests should never determine whether or not you choose to have the conversation with them about your expectations. It is your job to be direct with your teen.
*** This is an excerpt taken from the E3 Update – the official newsletter of Jeffrey Dean Ministries. To receive this free newsletter, click here.